From "Shoulds" to Joy: Reclaiming Your Motherhood Narrative

Ever feel like you're constantly chasing "shoulds"? "I should exclusively breastfeed," the societal voice whispers. "I should have a spotless house all the time," it nags. Amidst this external noise, take a moment to reflect. What do you truly want? Perhaps a different feeding method is better for you and your mental health. Instead of exhausting yourself trying to do it all alone, would you want to build a support system? Your wants, your needs, your joy – they deserve to be heard and honored in your unique motherhood journey.

As a life coach for mums, I see this internal tug-of-war play out in my sessions all the time. We juggle a million expectations – from society, family, even ourselves – about what being a "good mum" entails. But here's the thing: when our lives become a constant chase after "shoulds," our own wants, those tiny threads of true happiness, get lost in the shuffle.

Think of it like playing tug-of-war. On one side, you have the heavy rope of "shoulds" – ingrained societal pressures, inherited family narratives, and self-imposed guilt trips. On the other side, there's a thin, almost-forgotten thread of your own wants, desires, and what truly lights you up. The more we pull on the "shoulds" rope, the weaker the "wants" thread becomes. And that's where the conflict, the frustration, the endless feeling of "not enough" creeps in.

But here's the good news: it's never too late to let go of the "shoulds" rope and grab hold of your wants. This shift, from "shoulds" to "wants", is about reclaiming your own narrative. It's about remembering that you, yes you, get to decide what kind of mum you want to be, what brings you joy, and what fulfills your unique motherhood journey.

So, how do we do this? It's not about ignoring all responsibility or throwing caution to the wind. It's about a gentle yet powerful shift in perspective. Here are a few steps to get you started:

1. Identify your "shoulds": Take some quiet time to reflect on those nagging voices in your head. What are the "shoulds" that keep popping up around parenting, self-care, or anything else in your life? Write them down, face-to-face.

2. Challenge the "shoulds": Question each "should". Where does it come from? Does it truly align with your values and beliefs? Is it serving you or holding you back? Can you reframe it as a "want" or a more positive affirmation?

3. Connect with your wants: Now, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine a life free from "shoulds". What do you truly desire? What fills you with joy and excitement? What kind of mum do you want to be, deep down?

4. Take small steps: Start incorporating tiny acts of self-care, pursuing your passions, or saying "no" to things that don't align with your wants. Celebrate each step, no matter how small.

5. Remember, it's a journey: Reclaiming your wants is a process, not a destination. There will be days when the "shoulds" creep back in. But with each step you take, the "wants" thread will grow stronger, pulling you closer to a life filled with authenticity, joy, and true fulfillment in your motherhood journey.

Remember, mama, you deserve to let go of the "shoulds" and embrace your wants. 

Your happiness, your joy, your well-being matters. Start claiming your narrative today, one deliberate step at a time. And if you're feeling lost in the tug-of-war between "shoulds" and "wants," I'm here to help you untangle the ropes and discover the joy that lies beneath.

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